


He's half my soul as the poets say

by Naji_Dragonchild



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Blood and Injury, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, How Do I Tag, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Near Death, Not Beta Read, Other, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Romance, Smitten Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Trans Character, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28047363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naji_Dragonchild/pseuds/Naji_Dragonchild
Summary: "He pressed kiss after kiss against beautiful brown skin, feeling the sun shine against his back, the sand shift under their combined weight and melted in the sound of chuckles, clear and honest and vibrating around him and he couldn't believe that he was responsible for it with his kisses, that he was allowed to even come near someone so beautiful, so perfect that they could make his heart pound like this and make him want to give over his very being for even just a chance to stay close, to keep feeling this touch against his skin, to keep hearing this laughter."In which ancient prophecies do what they do best.Cause tragedy.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	He's half my soul as the poets say

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: War, Death, Panic, Trauma, Daddy issues

He pressed kiss after kiss against beautiful brown skin, feeling the sun shine against his back, the sand shift under their combined weight and melted in the sound of chuckles, clear and honest and vibrating around him and he couldn't believe that he was responsible for it with his kisses, that he was allowed to even come near someone so beautiful, so perfect that they could make his heart pound like this and make him want to give over his very being for even just a chance to stay close, to keep feeling this touch against his skin, to keep hearing this laughter.

"Stop it," he was still laughing through the words and Roman looked up to meet those wonderful eyes that had bewitched him so long ago and he threatened to drown in every time he let himself stare for too long, but at the same time could have stopped looking at no less than he could stop admiring the sea when the waves pushed up as if they were reaching into the sky, or the stars when they painted pictures into the night and told him stories and legends humanity had forgotten long ago for as long as he was willing to listen. 

"Don't you like when I do that?" he asked coyly, lingering over the other's neck and intertwined their fingers, feeling rough callouses against his skin.

"I do, you know I do, but what if someone comes by and sees us?" worry was laced into the words and those wonderful eyes darted away, scanning the beach even though no one ever came to the small remote bay in which the boys had decided to meet, and they both knew it. It was the main reason they had decided to meet here in the first place.

"My love, they could move mountains and wouldn't be able to keep me from you. I have been struck by Eros' arrow, for you, my heart beats its symphony and I love you more than anything in this world. So what if they see us? Let them envy us and wish for a love like ours," he leaned forward until their faces were inches apart and their breaths mingled between them. "Let them. As long as we love each other there's nothing they can do to us. So I'll keep kissing you until Thanatos decides it's time to part us."

"Then... Then do it properly," the boy under him whispered and caught Roman's lips with his own. 

They pressed against each other and Roman reached up to cup Virgil's face.

"I love you," he murmured against Virgil's mouth breathlessly. "And I'll keep loving you for all eternity."

"I love you too," came the hushed reply. "I couldn't live without you. I need you more than air, water and the earth underneath us."

Roman rolled over until he was lying next to Virgil instead of on top of him, the sand warmed from the slowly sinking sun and pushed a strand out of his lovers face.

Virgil leaned his head against his chest, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

"Let's stay here for tonight," he whispered. "Just the two of us. We're all we need. Tomorrow we'll go back and rejoin our people on the battlefield but for tonight it's just you, me and Selene riding her chariot over the night sky."

"Sounds perfect," Roman pressed a kiss into his hair. "Sounds absolutely perfect."

Virgil fell asleep first, tugged tightly against Roman's chest and looking more peaceful than he ever did when he was awake.

Roman gently combed through his hair and watched his face.

The sky over him was full of stars, the moon was full and looked so much closer than she usually did but none of that was as mesmerising to him as Virgil.

He watched his face twitch and his expression shift and wondered what he might be dreaming about.

Something nice, he hoped. Virgil deserved all the nice things in the world and more.

A little later his own eyes drifted shut and he fell into a deep slumber.

-_-_-_-

Roman hated and loved battle.

Loved it because of the rush of adrenaline in his veins.

Hated it because of the constant threat of death looming over him, the stench of blood, the screams of pain, terror and grief, the corpses to his feet.

The hate outweighed the love easily.

A spear flew past his ear and Roman swung his sword at the man who had thrown it, piercing his chest and driving the blade deep into it.

The man screamed, then fell silent.

Roman pulled his sword back out and ducked to escape another man's blade.

He wasn't sure how many of his comrades fell. He could only focus on ducking and striking at whoever had attacked him.  
He could only focus on surviving.

He had to. He had promised Virgil he'd come back. He couldn't break his promise.

A large man swung his sword at Roman and he brought his own up to block, knowing full well that he couldn't dodge.

The swords clashed together and Roman's blade burst at the impact. Shards of metal flew through the air, some hitting Roman on his face and arm and he cried out in a mixture of pain and surprise.

The man laughed as Roman stumbled back, still holding onto his sword grip.

"This weapon was forged by Hephaestus himself in the fire of his volcano. Your puny little sword never stood a chance. Consider it an honour; you'll die at the hands of me, Leauchus, Son of Ares, and by a blade of Hephaestus' forge," the demigod raised the sword, pointing it at Roman's chest.

He thrust it forward with more strength than any human could ever hope to possess and Roman watched, frozen in terror.

Everything seemed to slow down and fall away.

It was only the two of them now.

The sword seemed to glow, reflecting Helio's light back to him or maybe it was still hot from the flames it had been forged in, unable to leave the unforgivable heat behind and therefore carrying it with it for all eternity.

It was a beautiful weapon. 

But that didn't mean he wanted to die by it.

The world slowed even further and he could feel the tip of the sword press into his skin, just over his heart - not his heart, please, not his heart, it still belonged to Virgil and no matter if he was the son of the god of wars, Leauchus wasn't allowed to break what belonged to Virgil - piercing it and slicing through the muscle underneath.

Roman felt it break through his ribs, pain shooting through him.

_**"Stop, Son of Ares!"** _

A blinding light flooded Roman's vision and he was shoved backwards almost falling.

He blinked the dots away.

Leauchus stood frozen, eyes wide with shock.

And between them, hovering just a few feet over the bloody sand, a young man dressed in a light blue toga over a blinding white tunic.  
His entire body was glowing and his eyes were of fire with determination.

_**"You have no right to kill this one! Enough men have died by your blade today to satisfy your thirst for blood! Go back and report to your people that you have won this battle and that your enemies have retreated for now!"** _

Shaking Roman looked around.

Bodies littered the floor but other than him and Leauchus there were no soldiers left.

"Who- Who are you?" Leauchus seemed to be unsure whether to get angry that his kill had been stolen from him or to bow down and submit to the stranger.

_**"I am a god, Son of Ares, if it wasn't obvious. I'm sure your father wouldn't object if I punished you for not following my orders."** _

Fear overtook Leauchus' face as he bowed quickly and backed away, before turning and running towards his city.

Roman watched him go.

Was this some weird dream? A hallucination in his last living moments?

The god touched down in front of him and frowned at the blood dripping down his chest, arms and face.

"Oh, my dear, what did they do to you?" he asked and his voice sounded weirdly human now. "But you're still alive. That's good. There are big plans for you, dear one. Big plans." He tapped Roman's nose.

"Why did you safe me?" Roman heard himself ask.

The god blinked up at him. He was shorter than Roman but his eyes seemed to hold the sky in them, vast and endlessly blue.

"I just told you, didn't I? Oh, sweetheart, you're probably in shock, aren't you? Is the pain very bad?"

Somehow Roman needed a moment just to decipher the meaning of the words, then when he had it another moment to figure out how to respond.

He was likely in shock, the god was right about that.

The pain seemed somehow detached from him, where he could still feel it, but it didn't take over his senses anymore. Unfortunately, he also couldn't say for sure how bad it was.

The first part, however, was the most confusing.

Why would his life be that important? What was in the plans for him for a god, an actual god, to step in personally to assure he wouldn't die?

He told the god so when he realised that he'd simply been staring for a few minutes.

The god smiled softly and reached out to tenderly put a warm soft hand on Roman's cheek.  
He let his thumb rub over his cheekbone and just kept smiling. There was worry in that smile, a silent promise of care and innocent affection. Pride that made Roman's chest fill up with joy at the thought that it might be directed at him and love.  
Pure, adoring love, not burning like a lover's, but rather simmering for eternity like a parent or a caretaker.

And Roman wanted nothing more than to be taken care of by him and make him proud.

"Come with me, little one," the god said offering his hand for Roman to take. "I can't take care of your wounds but I know who can. Your ribs are damaged. You need help."

Roman nodded numbly.

He felt his sword slip out of his hand and reached out to take the hand the god offered him.

It was soft against his own raw one.

The god's smile widened.

He took a step back, pulling Roman with him and the world around them blurred and shifted until they were no longer standing on a battlefield but in a beautiful pavilion in a garden that took Roman's breath away in its beauty and diversity of flora and fauna. It was unlike anything he'd ever seen before.

Another god sat on a daybed and looked up from his book. A crown of runes floated over his head.

"Patton, what is-?" he stopped as he saw Roman. "Oh, dear. Sit him down before he passes out from blood loss!"

"Okay," the first god - Patton, apparently, though Roman couldn't recall ever hearing of a god with that name - led him over to a small bench and Roman let himself fall onto it.

"Can you heal it?" Patton asked. Roman wasn't sure how to deal with the amount of worry in his voice. He couldn't recall anyone fussing over him like that in... ever. It seemed very fatherly but his own father most definitely had never acted this way, especially not towards him.

"Of course," the other responded. "I'll have to remove the armour pieces first. This might hurt a little."

Roman made a sound to let him know he understood then the god raised his palms over the wound and they began to glow.

Roman flinched as the first piece of bronze ripped out of the hole.

Patton took his hand.

"It's okay, dear one. I know it hurts," he whispered as the other continued his work. "They have to go out even if it hurts now. Later they will cause more pain if we leave them. It won't heal right. Even if it hurts now they have to go so you can heal. You're doing so well, little one. I'm so proud of you."

"That was the last piece," the other finally said. "I'll heal your bone now. It might be a bit uncomfortable again."

Roman felt something shift in his chest and winced.

He felt himself lean into Patton's soft touch and at the same time wanted to get away from it.

His father would be disappointed if he could see him like this. Utterly defeated, pathetically relying on complete strangers and basking in the affection.

He wasn't even sure where all the thoughts about his father suddenly came from.

Why was the shame he'd gotten rid off so many years ago now back in his bones as if had never left at all? Had it even ever been truly gone?

Tears welt up in his eyes and spilt over before he could push them back.

"Shh," Patton pet his head. "It's okay, sweet one."

He shouldn't cry. He was a grown man. A fighter. He shouldn't be crying over something so stupid. What was he even crying about?

"The fight was unfair," the god healing his wound told him, looking up at him seriously. "If you're dissatisfied with yourself. You're human. Your opponent wasn't. A demigod can't die by the hands of a mortal in combat. It has nothing to do with you or your skills that he defeated you."

The wound closed, the skin still raw and fresh.

The god moved on and removed the rest of the metal pieces from his arms and face, closing the wounds there as well before standing up again.

"We should let him rest now, Patton. Mortals are exhausted very quickly and emotional outbursts can also cost them a lot of energy. I'd advise you to bring him somewhere quiet and leave him to sleep. Maybe leave some water and food out for him."

"Water? Oh, right. He can't drink Ambrosia. Thank you, Logan," Patton smiled at the other - Logan - before turning to Roman again. "Do you think you can walk a bit? No? That's fine, dear. I'll just bring us somewhere nice."

He took Roman's hand again and again the world shifted.

Roman blinked away the dizziness and found himself sitting on a big, soft bed.

"Just rest for as long as you wish to. If you need me and can't find me, just ask anyone. Even if they look scary, I promise no one will hurt you. Sleep well, little one."

With that he disappeared again.

Roman didn't feel like he'd be able to sleep, too many thoughts and questions racing through his mind as he lay back onto the bed.  
Still, the exhaustion set in and he didn't have the energy to fight it as sleep overtook him.

When he woke up again it took him a while to remember where he was.

Slowly he sat up, feeling the cool mosaic tiles and the tiny gaps between them under his feet. The light shining in through the small windows looked like early morning.

On a small table next to the bed stood a bowl of steaming rice with peas and chicken pieces and a cup of spring clear water.

Roman took the cup first and greedily downed the water. It was cool and soothing against his dry throat. 

Breathing heavily he set it down again and wiped over his chin with his sleeve.

His stomach ached with hunger and he didn't even bother with cutlery as he grabbed the bowl. The food wasn't too hot to touch and he shoved a handful into his mouth.

Some spice he'd never tasted before gave the rice a strong, hot taste, the chicken, on the other hand, was barely seasoned at all, sweeter than anything else, and they balanced each other out perfectly.

He was pretty sure that it was the best thing he'd ever eaten - not just because it was the first food he'd had since the mostly-water-soup the morning before.

Roman set the bowl down again once it was emptied and drank the rest of the water before standing up from the edge of the bed.

There was a mirror, half-hidden behind a curtain, and he caught a glimpse of his reflection.

Small scars had formed on his face and arms. On his chest was the biggest. An ugly, fleshy one right over his freshly healed ribs. Right over his heart.  
He let his fingers travel over its bumps. 

This was how he should've died.

Would've, if Patton hadn't stepped in.

He turned towards the door.

Patton had said that he could come to him if he needed something and right now he needed answers.

Hesitantly he slipped out of the room.

To his surprise he found himself in a garden with stone paths winding through Islands of plants and trees, rather than a hallway.

It was beautiful.

Birds sang overhead and a sweet smell hung in the air.

Roman took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

He could feel the smooth stone under his feet and specks of warm light that managed to find their way through the leaves.

He opened his eyes again, watched a small salamander hurry over the path and contemplated where to go.

Left or right.

Through the trees he could see small buildings to both sides.

He went right. 

Trying to take in the beauty of the garden he followed the path, almost forgetting from time to time that he was looking for Patton.

"Hello," a smooth voice made him jump and swirl around.

The god - it couldn't possibly be anything but a god - was of short stature and wore a fancy black cape. He had six arms and half of his face was covered in scales and snake-like.  
In one hand he carried a shepherds staff.

"Are you lost, darling?" he asked, leaning his head to the side slightly.

"I uhm... I'm looking for Patton," Roman managed to say.

The god let out a low hum.

"You are that boy he rescued," it wasn't a question, just a fact. Still, Roman felt compelled to nod. "Have you slept well?"

"I- yes," something about the god was making it hard to speak, or even just to think, and he wasn't sure what it was. "Can you please help me find him?"

The human side of the god's face smiled slightly.

"Of course, darling. I'll bring you to him. Just come along," he turned, curling a finger as if to silently call him over and Roman hurried to catch up with him.

"What's your name, boy?" the god asked after a short while.

"I'm Roman."

"Just Roman?"

"Yes, just Roman."

"You didn't inherit your father's name?"

The question made him flinch involuntarily.

"No, he uhm... He refused to have a connection with me by name."

"Ah."

The god didn't speak again and Roman could imagine what he was thinking. He knew all too well what people thought about his name, from the few that weren't afraid to speak their mind.

"Do me a favour and don't tell Patton," the god suddenly spoke up again.

"Okay... May I ask why?"

"He'll give you his family name without hesitation - by extension my name - and I'd rather adopt after we have talked about it in-depth and come to a mutual agreement that we want a child."

Roman opened his mouth and closed it a few times, trying to comprehend the god's words.

"Why would he give me his name just like that?"

"He is made of two parts familial love. It's in his nature to love and bond," there was a deep fondness at the words, tainted in love. The snake god loved his partner more than anything in the world, Roman could tell.

"May I ask what you are the god of?"

"I'm _a_ god of truth, preservation and fate. You can call me Janus."

"What do you mean _a_ god?"

"You mortals all believe that there can be only one truth about gods. But there are many of us. We take care of those who believe in us. If you pray to Apollo, only he will answer. But if you pray for a glimpse at the future or past, not caring who answers there are many who might."

They reached a set of marble stairs and went down to a veranda with benches, tables and daybed.

"How come I have never heard of you?" Roman asked on.

"Because you were raised to believe in the pantheon on Olymp. They were your gods and you didn't care to learn about others."

"If they were my gods, then why did Patton save me?"

This time Janus didn't answer right away.

"That's a complicated matter. Just like there are different gods there are different fates. You know about the three Moirai with their spindle, measuring rod and shears. We listen to our own fate. And while to the Greek gods, your life was insignificant, to us you are important. You are needed alive for the future."

Roman frowned.

How could his life be that important? It didn't make sense.

"Janus!" Patton's voice made Roman jump. 

Patton tackled Janus in a hug and Janus chuckled, wrapping all six arms around him.

"I missed you," Patton muttered. "How long has it been since we last saw each other?"

"Oh, dearest," Janus pushed a strand out of his face. "Hours."

They kissed, deeply and desperately as if fearing that if they stayed apart for another second they'd forget how to breathe. As if they'd forget their love and the others taste and knew that they couldn't live without it.

"The mortal, Roman, was looking for you," Janus murmured against Patton's lips.

Roman wasn't sure whether he should go away or not. He felt like he was intruding on their moment but also, Janus had purposefully led him here so he could ask Patton his questions.

He pointedly stared at a colourful bird, sitting on a branch and singing a soft melody.

The bird flew away after a few minutes and Janus and Patton finally broke apart.

"Ah, Roman. What did you need?" Patton smiled. Janus hugged him from behind, burying his face in his shoulder.

"I - uhm. I wanted to ask where we are and why you saved me, thought Janus kinda answered the second one already."

Patton beckoned him over to a table with two padded benches, taking a seat on one of them together with Janus.

"We are on the sky island Ayt, where we live. I took you here so Lo-Lo could heal you."

"Sky island?" Roman asked confused.

"Other islands swim in the sea, our's in the clouds," Janus spoke up. "That's why mortals can't come here on their own."

Roman nodded to himself.

"So, you'll have to bring me back home too?"

Patton and Janus shared a look, a silent conversation compressed to a split second before Patton spoke up again.

"That's a tad more complicated, kiddo. I'm mean, yes, of course, if you want to go back we'll have to bring you back but the thing is... It might not be an option at the moment..."

"What do you mean?" Roman frowned, glancing from one god to the other, trying to read their faces. "Why can't you bring me back?"

"We aren't sure yet - maybe we can just bring you home without any trouble. But there's also the possibility that if we do so you'll die."

"As I mentioned, you're important," Janus added. "We can't risk that. That's why Logan's trying to talk to Fate about your - well, fate. Patton changed it and we have to be sure it's safe enough now."

"But probably we'll just get you home this evening, don't worry, kiddo," Patton finished with a friendly smile.

"Okay," Roman heard himself say, though he was still frowning. 

Janus left again a little later, mentioning that he had work to do and Patton invited Roman to help him prepare the evening meal.

Unsure what else he could possibly do, Roman agreed.

Patton led him to another small building. 

Inside were some things Roman recognised from kitchens back at home but many that seemed strange to him.

He also knew only some of the fruits and vegetables Patton cleaned in a small tub of water.

"Can you peel this for me?" Patton handed him a few round fruits. 

"Er, sure," Roman sat on a small stool. Patton handed him a knife and a bowl before getting something else started.

Roman carefully cut at the fruit. The peel felt dry and crusty. Underneath he found a deep red, juicy fruit.

The red juice dripped down his hand before he even managed to fully peel it.

It reminded him of blood, if more purple.

He forced himself to keep going and his hands not to shake.

Patton hummed a melody as he lit the stove and set out a metal pan.

Roman forced himself to focus on his voice and the smell of oil heating up.  
Those where safe. Those were familiar.

"I'm done," Roman spoke up again after a while.

"Ah, good job!" Patton shot him a smile. "Can you also cut them, please? Into thin slices."

"Sure."

Great. More juice. He was fine.

Carefully he cut the fruits up and dropped the slices into the bowl again.

"What are these?" he asked Patton after a few moments.

"What you're cutting? That's beetroot." 

"Aha."

Patton worked quickly, obviously using his godly powers and Roman was pretty sure that he didn't even need help. He was probably just giving Roman something to do.

He was grateful for it even if he felt like he was slowing down the cooking.

"I'm done now," Roman frowned at his juice stained hands.

"Good job!" Patton praised. "You can wash your hands then."

Roman nodded and went over to the water tub and scrubbed until his fingers were only a faint pink colour.

"Can you set the table now? We need seven plates, spoons and knives. Just choose one of the tables outside. The plates are in there."

Roman wordlessly went over to the cabinet. Some of the plates were flat, some almost bowl-shaped. He glanced over at what Patton was cooking and went for the flat ones.

He carried them outside to the veranda and chose a table that was mostly in the shadow with two sunspots.

In a seat he spotted another god. They were rocking back and forth and around them, tiny lights swirled in the air.

Carefully Roman stepped closer.

The lights were beautiful.

They collided with each other, formed things and split apart again.

Roman couldn't take his eyes off them.

A bigger clump formed and he could have sworn that it looked like a cat before it was split again.

"Who are you?" 

Roman startled and tore his gaze from the lights to find himself staring into bright red eyes.

"What-?" he managed.

"Who are you?" the god repeated. "You're not a god."

"No, I'm human. My name is Roman."

"Oh! That mortal," the god nodded. There was something crazy in his eyes that made Roman wonder if he could be trusted. "I heard about you."

"May I ask who you are?" Roman asked.

The god laughed.

" _My_ name is _Remus_ ," he bowed slightly. "I am a god of dreams and fantasies among other things."

He winked at Roman and it made a shiver run down his spine.

"That's... great," he managed. "Well, I should probably go now... Sorry for bothering you."

Roman smiled through his discomfort and slowly stepped away back towards the kitchen.

Remus grinned and finally turned back, away from Roman, who fled back to Patton.

He definitely didn't want his dreams to come from a guy like that.

Back in the kitchen Patton was just filling the food into bowls and showed Roman where to find the spoons, knives and cups.  
Then he levitated the bowls towards the table and Roman tried to repress the feeling of being-in-the-way that bloomed in his chest once again.

They finished setting the table and Patton asked Remus to 'let the others know' whatever that meant for gods.

"Just sit wherever you want to, little one," Patton turned to Roman and pat his head affectionately, sitting down in a shadow spot just left of a sunny one.

Roman hesitated before taking the seat to his left that was also in the shadow.

Remus turned the chair opposite of him around and sat down the wrong way, facing him.

Just a moment later two more gods appeared, arm in arm. Roman stared at them in confusion trying to figure out if they were female or male.  
He couldn't tell.

One of them seemed male at first glance but the longer Roman looked the more he doubted his first impression, the others dressed feminine and had longer hair than appropriate for men but had a sharp jawline and masculine build.

Then again, they were gods.  
Maybe they just didn't work by the same rules as humans.

He also faintly recalled hearing about priests in other lands who were deemed closer to the gods for being neither or both.

The gods sat down together, the feminine dressed one taking one of the sunspots while their partner stayed in the shadow.

"Oh, is that that mortal you were talking about?" they asked.

"Yeah, his name is Roman," Patton smiled. "Roman, these are Remy and Emile. Remy changes pronouns whenever he feels like it and Emile's are they/them."

"Right now I'm feeling xe," Remy said.

"Xe?" Roman asked confused. "Is that a pronoun?"

He'd never heard of it.

Remy took a long sip and beckoned him forward slightly before reaching out and touching his forehead.

Roman felt a small jolt and pulled back out of reflex.

"What was that?" he asked rubbing the spot that still stung.

"You should know how to use my and Emmie's pronouns now, sweetie," Remy loudly sipped xyr drink.

Janus silently slipped into the sunspot next to Patton and pressed a kiss on Patton's cheek, who giggled happily.

Remus made a gagging noise.

It seemed silly coming from an immortal deity but Roman wasn't stupid enough to say that aloud.

"Are we waiting for Logan or do we start now?" Janus asked shooting Remus a small glare.

"He's talking to Fate," Emile stated. "He's probably going to be late - if he comes at all."

"You're right," Patton agreed. "I'm sure he won't mind. If we wait he'll just scold us for not starting."

He began handing out food.

Right, Logan. Roman'd have to remember to thank him for healing his wounds once he returned from wherever exactly he was.

Roman didn't recognize most of the foods but he still took a little of most of them, except for the beetroot. 

It was delicious. All of it. He could name about two spices he tasted but whatever the rest was it was really really good.

He was just taking his second serving when Logan appeared out of thin air just a few feet away from them.

He sat down at the end between Remus and Roman, quietly, and seemed to ignore everyone's eyes on him as he took his food and began to eat.

"Stop being an asshole and tell us what you found," Remy broke the tense silence.

Logan looked up.

"No need to get mad at me."

He took another bite of the stuff Roman was pretty sure was meat.

"So, I talked to Fate," Logan stated. "And I asked them about Roman's future. I have bad news and I have worse news. Which would you like to hear first?"

Neither, Roman thought.

"The... bad news?" he said.

"The bad news is that you can't go back. If we sent you back you'll die and we can't always jump in to save you. So, you'll have to stay here," Logan said calmly. "The problem is that you can't stay indefinitely. We have food you can eat at the moment but it wasn't easy for us to obtain mortal ingredients. Our usual meals would surely kill you."

Roman glanced down at his plate and swallowed.

"And what's the worse news?" he asked but Logan shook his head.

"That is nothing that concerns you. It's more about how your disappearance will affect the war, which Janus and I will have to take care off."

Janus frowned.

"How much work?" he asked.

Logan sighed.

"A lot. Fate wasn't very specific but... It'll be a lot."

Janus muttered a curse.

Another surprisingly human thing. How many times had Roman heard people complain about hard or long work in just the same tone of voice, with the same long-suffering sighs?

It was strange yet comforting how normal these gods seemed.

It made the prospect of having to live with them less jarring. Less scary.

Roman finished his second plate, waited for everyone else to finish and helped Patton clear the table again.

"Thank you, little one," Patton gave him a smile. "If you want to you can go look around a bit. If you need me just call for me, okay?"

"Alright," Roman watched him go over to where Janus and Logan were talking about whatever new work his disappearance had caused or would cause, and Janus hugged him without even looking away from Logan.

Roman felt a little lost.

He turned around to look at all the paths leading away and was sure that soon he would be lost in every sense of the word.

Still he headed down the first path he found.

For hours Roman wandered aimlessly. He managed to find the cabin where he'd slept again, found the 'coast' of the Island and looked over the clouds. They were even more beautiful from up here.

He wondered what the world looked like from here but the clouds didn't part to show him.

The sky overheard grew darker and he began heading back in the direction he guessed the veranda was.

A small black cat snuck up on him and rubbed itself against his legs, forcing him to stop for a little while.  
Slowly he bent down and reached out to pet it, making sure to give the cat the chance to doge or hiss.  
It didn't, even leaning its head into the touch and Roman snorted happily.

"You're a pretty one, aren't you?" 

The cat purred.

"Back at home the cats are never this trusting. But I guess if you've always lived here it makes sense. None of them would hurt you, right? You never had to be afraid."

The cat licked at his fingers and Roman chuckled.

"Do you think you can help me find my way back?" he asked.

The cat purred again and pulled away. It took a few steps down the path, then turned, as if checking whether he was following.

Roman stared at it.

"Smart too, huh?"

He stood up and the cat began to walk again.  
He followed.

Every so often it'd stop, check he was following and only then continue on.

After just a few minutes Roman saw the lights of the veranda through the trees again.

The cat sat down and looked up at him expectantly.

"Thank you," Roman knelt down to scratch it's head again. "I hope we'll meet again sometime."

With one last purr the cat disappeared into the undergrowth again as if it'd never been there in the first place.

"Huh," Roman made and headed on towards the lights.

Janus and Patton were curled up together in a seat. Patton had his eyes closed while Janus' were open, looking at Patton with so much adoration it made Roman's chest ache, and with one hand he tenderly combed through Patton's hair.

Logan was talking to Remus, lying on his side on a daybed with a scroll held loosely in his hand.  
Remus floated in the air a little bit higher next to it and gestured.  
He was the only one to notice Roman - or at least the only one who acknowledged his presence - right away and grinned at him.

Roman forced himself to smile back.

This time it apparently had been Emile's turn to cook and Remy stayed by their side wherever they went.  
The couple set the table together and Remy would sneak kisses whenever xe could.

"Dinner's ready!" Emile called towards the other gods lounging around.

Roman sat down next to Patton again. This time that also meant sitting next to Janus, because he sat in Patton's lap as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Logan sat to his other side.

This time Roman actually recognised some of the foods.  
There were bread and olives and some oranges, surrounded by more unfamiliar fruits.

Small pieces of home in the unknown.

"I think I may have found a solution to your situation," Logan suddenly spoke up. "But it can only work if everyone can agree on this."

All attention landed on him.

"What kind of solution?" Roman asked.

"Well, our current problem is that you can't leave and that we only have so much mortal food. That problem can quickly be eliminated if-"

"No!" Remy's hand hit the table and a wine glass shattered. Roman flinched involuntarily. "No, we're not doing that!"

"Remy, at this point it's the only way to keep him alive for long enough," Logan argued. "Or can you come up with a better solution?"

"I don't care what we do! We're not making him a god!"

"What?" Roman went unheard as around him the gods argued louder and louder.

He'd misheard. He had to.

There was no way-

Janus made a sharp hand movement and suddenly everything was quiet.

"Can we discuss this like civilised deities instead of using the 'whoever yells the loudest are right' method?" he hissed. "Thank you. Now, Logan, why do you think that it's a good idea?"

Logan sighed.

"First of all, if we want to cover all of the bigger aspects we're missing someone anyway," he pointedly glared at Remy. "Based on what Fate and I talked about him I believe he could fill that position. Secondly, we need him alive and the easiest way to keep him alive is if he cannot die."

"Alright, Remy, why do you hate the idea?"

"We can keep him alive without giving him one of the most important jobs! I thought we all agreed that we were going to make someone for that! You can't pick up a hooker from the street and put him in charge!"

"He's not a hooker," Logan frowned. "He's a soldier. There's quite the difference."

Remy rolled xyr eyes.

"Who's in favour of doing it?" Janus asked.

Roman tried to count the raised hands but his mind was reeling and he had to grip the table, hoping it could chase away the dizziness.

This was some sort of joke. It had to be. They were making fun of him.

"That's a clear majority," Janus' voice broke through to Roman. "Sorry, Remy."

He didn't sound sorry at all.

"Wait!" Patton spoke up.

A hand landed on Roman's shoulder and made him flinch.

He turned around and found Patton staring at him, the same worry in his eyes as back on the battlefield. How long ago had it been? A day or two?

"Little one, are you okay?"

Roman stared back and only managed to mutely shake his head.

"Oh, dear. This is a lot, isn't it? I'm sorry. We shouldn't be deciding this for you without your consent. Breathe, little one. You're safe here. Nothing will happen to you," Patton continued speaking softly to him.

Roman let himself fall forward into Patton's warm embrace. His hands ran over Roman's shoulders and hair soothingly.

"This is a joke right?" Roman whispered. "You're not really-? I can't be a god."

"Why not, dear? Are you afraid of becoming more?"

"I'm not good. I can't do that."

"Don't say that. You're wonderful. If you don't want this, I'm sure we can find another way but don't say no because of something like that."

"I don't think we can-" Logan started but stopped at Patton's disapproving glare.

For a while they were silent.

"Can I think about it?" Roman broke the silence. "Please?"

"Of course," Patton kissed his forehead. Warmth spread through Roman. "Take your time to think. I understand that this must be scary."

He led Roman back to the hut he'd slept in before, wished him a good night and left again.

Roman stared at the door before slowly sitting down on the bed. He ran his hand over the soft covers.

If he was a god... what would he be in charge of?

He wasn't sure what the job they had been talking about had been but if it really was that important, people would be relying on him. 

Tiredly he shook the thought off. He had no idea what he'd be if he agreed. Speculating wasn't getting him anywhere.  
Except maybe deeper into a panic.

If he agreed he'd get to live here on the Island. 

That didn't sound all that bad.

No wars, beautiful paradisical forest and as far as he could tell the gods were nice.  
Patton especially.

If he was a god he'd be immortal.

He stared down at the scars on his chest.

Roman had seen death. He'd seen it all around him for as long as he could remember.  
It didn't become less scary.

He'd seen death a thousand times, yet he was still afraid of it.

What was it like to live without it hanging over his head like a predator just waiting to jump its prey? Was it nice?

He couldn't imagine it being anything but.

"I think I'd like to live forever," Roman whispered to the darkness of the hut.

He leaned back and laid an arm over his eyes.

"I'd like to see humanity grow old."

The next time Roman woke up the early morning sun was just beginning to creep into the room.

He got up, changed into a tunic he found at the foot of the bed and stepped outside.

It didn't take him long to find Logan.

The god hovered in the air by the edge of the Island. Energy radiated off of him. His eyes were glowing white.

Roman hesitated.

Logan turned his head and even though there were no pupils in his eyes Roman felt like he was staring at him.

"Yes?" Logan asked.

"About that whole making me immortal thing..." Roman began.

"Have you made up your mind?" Logan's feet touched back down on the ground. "What is your decision?"

"Yes. I'll stay here," Roman nodded to himself.

Logan smiled slightly.

"You'll do wonderful," he said and held out his hand.

Roman hesitated for just a moment, then he took it.

"Close your eyes. And if you want a bit of advice, don't forget who you are now, even if you'll never be the same again."

Roman wasn't sure what Logan meant by that, but he trusted him.


End file.
